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| A small slice of Nature by CubaGallery, Flickr |
For those of you who are not familiar with this “award”: it’s a compilation of ridiculous and unnecessary deaths caused by the stupidity of the deceased themselves. Based on Darwin’s evolutionary theory – those less than bright individuals remove themselves from the gene pool by their untimely deaths so that humanity will not have to inherit their idiocy… I know it’s all a bit of juvenile humour, but life is tragicomic and sometimes it’s good to see its funny side.
Anyway, that got me thinking about creating a new award, based on the same principles but for corporations! After all corporations are run by individuals, and they should be made accountable for the high level of stupidity that they display!
It’s a very simple and basic principle that even animals know:
“You don’t poop where you eat!”
And yet in an age of great technological advance and increased scientific knowledge that’s exactly what some keep on doing…
We’ve all heard it: “with great power comes great responsibility” – just because you can do it, doesn’t mean you should!
What would be a good name for this award? Perhaps the “With Great Power Comes Great Stupidity Award” or the “It’s A Brave Stupid World Out There Award”
“IABSWOT Award" for short…
The main dilemma is who to give it to? So many candidates… I’m getting dizzy watching quite a few of them trying to outdo each other… to name just a few, and please forgive me for the many omissions … I’d like to organise a more comprehensive list in the coming weeks – if you like minded folks can help me with this: we could have a Twitter hashtag #IABSWOT where you could post the name of any nominees, preferably with a link to information as to why they deserve the Award.
We have NASA
Discarding all sort of rubbish into space from old satellites to common waste from their space station, and watching it whizz around our planet until eventually comes back down. Their recent statement when a piece of space junk the size of a double decker bus was set to crash land? Something on the lines: “we don’t know where or when it’s going to fall. What runs out fuel eventually comes back down, but don’t worry – the chances of being hit by it are minute!” Yeah…thanks mate – that’s good scientific data to back-up a good responsible attitude towards our planet! We know we can trust you…
And we have Monsanto!
They have done so much to deserve this award that I feel that if they don’t win it outright they should be awarded on a special category of their own… they have given us over 100 years of their efforts not only by distorting our food chain as much as possible, but also by making sure that the damage to the environment is irreversible! And their latest stroke of stupidity? Super weeds! Through the systematic use of their weed killer “Roundup” they have strengthen common weeds and created a new strand that is now resistant to any known weed killer! And because you can’t have too much of a good thing: it is also available in concentrate form! But that’s okay…just bear with them I’m sure their new super strong weed killer must be coming up soon…in the meantime just enjoy their genetically modified corn: it’s proven to cause cancer in mice…but we are men not mice aren’t we…?
And off course let’s not forget the energy corporations:
So many have been involved in recent crimes against the environment that it’s virtually impossible to single one out. We have fracking to thank for quakes and permanent geologic stress; we have oil, and chemical spills affecting the wild life; we have radioactive leakage: a most efficient way of being able to damage more with less… that way they not only affect current generation as they also ensure birth defects for generations to come! And not contented with damaging land, there is now a trend of discarding, whatever is perceived as too toxic to be handled, into the oceans:
“Well there is so much water isn’t it?
Most of our planet is composed of it so why limit ourselves to do away with land when we can spread toxicity so much faster if we damp it into the water and get done with it? Never mind the three eyed fish – we were going to get there anyway with genetically modified food… who knows they might be a delicacy…"
Never mind the cancer rate going up either:
Big Pharma is on the case!
The ingenuity of this money spinning, pill popping industry is relentless! “Do you suffer from headaches? Have our newest painkiller: it hasn’t been properly tested yet but what’s the worst thing that could happen? Okay, you might end up having a stroke, internal bleeding, blurred vision, chronic diarrhoea, reduced hearing, and depression…but don’t worry we have just the right drugs for that too! Surely it’s got to be better than having to put with a headache, don’t you think? Is the contraceptive pill getting in the water supply and causing Prostate cancer? Oh well you can’t have your cake and eat it! Or perhaps you can…just bear with us while we work on a new jab… if you can’t wait for that: we could use you as spare parts, do you have a kidney or two you could donate? Or perhaps a brain?”
With so many contenders to this award of corporate stupidity, I’m starting to think that the only way to be fair is to have several categories! Keep those nominations coming folks!
By the Undercover Homeopath
